SCORPIO: stories from the stars

Reader, full disclosure: I am a Scorpio. I’ve been writing these for almost a year now and I’ve been thinking about how much I’d actually want to reveal about us. I can’t give away too much, but there are a few things that I can tell you. 

I want to talk about the root of attention. Extroverted Scorpios are capable of empathizing on a cosmic level. We can enter social situations, work situations, relationships and read the room to a T. Scorpios, upon initial interactions with other folks, can see a sort of conclusion, a cataract otherwise known as a person’s personality. Everyone’s personality is a consequence of some sort of conditioning. We have a keen knowledge of our own faults, scars, trauma. We can sense the cracks, trace them to their point of impact, and tell you the weapon used to create it. Feeling detectives, sense scientists. 

But the madness. That sweet dark madness that we all go through. The weight of this knowledge can be threatening to the heart. Does god ever cry? Does all of the cruelty and hurt in the world ever get to him? We have a lot in common with god. Purpose, narcissism, jealousy, empathy. When we are not doing good, we can do a lot of bad with this gift. We can be very manipulative, combative, defensive, and mean. We lead you into the desert, leaning on a brown boat, eyes trailing off to a false mirage, and then you will feel the sting. After the sting we see our victims laying there, and we start to feel a sort of cathartic joy. 

In my opinion, I think the best way for Scorpio to avoid going to the dark place is by trying to remember that people are autonomous. You can not control people, and you don’t always know what's going on under the surface. Instead of feeling constantly connected, unplug and try to listen to people better not just to figure them out, but to experience the spirit within them. That is true enlightenment, leave the ego behind. Also, some last minute advice: stay away from dating Virgo, Sag, and Gemini men.


-A drinker, definitely a drinker. 


-Is either the center of attention at parties or watching by the sidelines. 

-Has the best sex in the world with Capricorns and Tauruses 

-Ideal professions: Doctor, Writer, sex-shop owner

-Has terrible self-esteem relating to anything cerebral

-Loves Germany

-Hates waking up in the morning

-Feels a specific closeness with all things red

-Certified in CPR 

-Loves watching everything die in the fall

-Holds on to grudges

-Loves to Gossip

-Pees the bed when blackout drunk

-Falls in love more than 30 times in one lifetime

-Terrible with deadlines 

Taylor Evelyn Yates is a recent graduate with a degree in Creative Writing in Chicago, and the editor of The Compost. Taylor has a knack for expressing thoughts and ideas that are only becoming fertilized in our own minds. you can find her work in issues one and four of Selfish.

Sara Kloskowski is a Chicago-based Aquarius, artist, and friend of animals.