ARIES: stories from the stars with Taylor Evelyn

illo by Sara Kloskowski

illo by Sara Kloskowski

Distinguishable, easy to pick out in a crowd. I know an Aries when I see one, and when I can’t pick up on an Aries… well let's just say that that is even more terrifying. Busy, busy fish underneath the pond, swimming around for food with gaping mouths peeking out of the water like lippy camera winks. Aries is one sign that I am almost always sure of.  

Defined features, pronounced to match their attitudes. Impulsive, quick-witted, and sexy.

“Oh you must be an Aries!” Always follows some sort of wild hobby or tendency.  

A lot of people think Aries are these crazy people with short tempers, but I like to think of Aries as reactive, confrontational, courageous and in-the-moment. An introverted Aries will still find a way to react.

They have the emotional makeup of a puppy. Elated in situations where they feel free of restrictions or rules. Aries’s two favorite places are alone, and in a big crowd. These extremes make it easy for them to understand and appreciate this idea that they are full and empty at the same exact time more than any other sign. Aries is always ready for action. Action is a big part of the Aries makeup. There is such an impulse, such a life force that compels Aries to move forward and command action, it is truly an art, truly something that I am envious of.  

There is a part of Aries that also feels regretful. There is a large guilt to being an Aries. There is something that I cannot define, something that contributes to the wild and uninhabited nature of the sign. This sign is one of the only signs that leaves me speechless. An ambition towards the truth but also an ambition towards the unknown. It is a dueling dichotomy that I have found profound.



- Asks if you're alright, maybe five times a day

- Signs up for a sport

- Figures out a way to communicate with your ex

- Hopes that you will return to the same person you’ve always been

- Wants you to hold onto the friendship you've always had

- Can’t stand when people ruin the movie before the ending

- Feels compelled to deliver the truth and nothing but the truth

- Drinks a lot of hot chocolate in the winter

- Finds a way to be negative in a positive situation

- Finds a way to be positive in a negative situation

- Can help you understand your grief

- Makes you feel like you have only ever loved this person

- Hold grudges

- Figures out a way to love you

- Makes sure their enemies knows they hate them

- Finds a way to push away the person they love the most

- Pictures themselves with unrealistic partners

Taylor Evelyn Yates is the sassiest bundle of life energy you'll ever have the pleasure of crossing paths with. currently finishing up a degree in Creative Writing in Chicago, Taylor has a knack for expressing thoughts and ideas that are only becoming fertilized in our own minds. you can find her thoughtful, hilarious essay, "How to Love Yourself," in issue one of Selfish.