GEMINI: stories from the stars with Taylor Evelyn

illo by Sara Kloskowski

illo by Sara Kloskowski

Geminis get a bad reputation because they don’t need anyone else to maintain their day-to-day lives. Not prideful like a lion, but self-ruling like a cat. Inside, there are two people: one embodies everything a Gemini wants, and the other embodies everything a Gemini needs for survival.

These two forces are very rarely temperate or contained, which will come off as indecisive and ‘flighty’. This is why there is so much Gemini hate. I have a more optimistic take on the matter. I think they make wonderful friends! Out of all the signs, Gemini is the most independent and unbothered. This is pretty distressing for the rest of us right? Especially me, a Scorpio! I want control, I want consistency. Their unpredictable nature, which comes from their two inner selves shifting and changing and arguing, can be off-putting or come off as rude and erratic. But they are some of the most loyal and honest friends.

Yeeeah, yeah, yeah! you say?

I promise you, they’re good! When a Gemini wants something, twin number one comes out of their shell, takes hold of the entire personality, and rules with unyielding charm. When a Gemini wants something, they go for it. But after they get what they want, it’s hard to keep their attention for long. I think that a lot of people who’ve been in relationships with Geminis are scorned because of this. A life of contrasts, a battle, insatiable desires and needs that are constantly contradicting themselves.

My mother once said, “Do as I say, not as I do” - a ruthless, fickle, and formidable Gemini. You see, the key to understanding this sign is to understand that they are dealing with a lot of inner turmoil. Astrological schizophrenia! My mother will tell me not to do something and then do it ten minutes later with no pause. She will tell me, compassionately, not to burp in public. There’s a sound moral quality to the first twin’s voice. Then later when she burps in public the second twin turns into a light-hearted hypocrite. Imagine how much back and forth I went through as a child. The twins are hard to control, hard to understand, but they will bind their hands together to lift you up, a combing. If you’re lucky enough to catch it, you’ll see them as one person.


-Gets bored easily

-Doesn’t hold grudges

-Uses crystals to heal the twins inside of them get along

-Spreads their toes out on the backs of your knees

-Very good at getting out of situations they don’t want to be in

-Has a lot of short-term relationships

-Very social at events - Gemini is definitely the life of the party

-Talks to themselves at night before going to bed, doesn’t get much sleep

-Terrible at checking in


-Doesn’t care if you drunkenly pee the bed

-Controls the weather

-Terrible at throwing surprise parties

-Can bend light

Taylor Evelyn Yates is the sassiest bundle of life energy you'll ever have the pleasure of crossing paths with. a recent graduate with a degree in Creative Writing in Chicago, Taylor has a knack for expressing thoughts and ideas that are only becoming fertilized in our own minds. you can find her thoughtful, hilarious essay, "How to Love Yourself," in issue one of Selfish.